by Ret Gloriaxx6:18pm on Wednesday 28th November 2018
M-N7WD III, Curse – Angel Cartel-affiliated planetary defense forces have been celebrating after "fighting off an attack by a suspected rogue drone" on the third planet of M-N7WD, today.
Sources among the local Salvation Angels group told the Scope that they believed the attack to be evidence of a new rogue drone swarm or even Triglavian Collective subversion of rogue drones in their space. Further investigation by the Scope's Galactic Hour with Ret Gloriaxx, however, revealed the true story to be an even stranger tale than that.
According to evidence released on GalNet by residents of the M-N7WD III township of Hardscrabble, the purported "rogue drone" was actually a Hyasyoda Model 373 auto-combine harvester. Witness reports say the machine was in the small farming town's heavy equipment shop for maintenance when it suddenly burst free from the garage and headed directly for the town center.
The heavy-duty auto-combine then ran amok and did significant damage to multiple township buildings before local Angel Cartel militia arrived. The crazed farming machinery was brought to a halt after several rocket-propelled anti-armor plasma charges were fired into its control core.
Images posted to GalNet clearly show the serial number of a Hyasyoda Model 373 in several places on the seared, twisted and melted wreckage. According to purchase reports, the auto-combine was originally destined for Ihumoanopolis, Rens III, but the shipment was lost enroute. When reached for comment, Ihumoanopolis Deputy Administrator of Agriculture Luren Bear admitted to playing a role in the havoc in Hardscrabble.
"Yeah, I sent that auto-combine on a rampage. I was doing a check on our 373s and saw that one pop up as connected to the network. They must have been trying to do a software update or something so I hit the auto-recall. Hope it ran over some of those Angel bastards," said Deputy Administrator Bear.
The Angel Cartel declined a request for further comment. Hyasyoda representatives noted that any warranties applying to their products would be void in this case due to modification by an unaffiliated repair shop, uncontrolled exposure to explosive munitions and illegal export to a territory lacking the proper export-import licensing regime.